Prince Williams/FilmMagicFormer Journey drummer Deen Castronovo is holding no grudges against the group for his dismissal.

“I’ve hurt the whole band, and management as well, and Live Nation and so many other organizations,” he tells Billboard in a new interview. “They have kept in quiet touch, texts here and there, but I think with what has happened, they had to cut ties, and I truly do not blame them. I harbor no resentments. Those guys love me to death. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt.”

He is especially ashamed of his behavior, and letting down guitarist Neal Schon. “I owe him my career, and I’ve really hurt him,” he says of the musician, who gave the drummer a big break joining Bad English. “I’ve really disappointed him.”

“Journey has an impeccable legacy, and I’ve tarnished that legacy. They loved me and cared about me as a man — not just as a drummer and singer — to release me to get me the help I needed,” Castronovo continued. “This isn’t a quick fix. They knew I couldn’t be going back and forth going on the road and coming home. This needed to be something that is a full-time job, staying clean and sober. I love them to death. They are my brothers. They will be for the rest of my life. As sad as it is — and it breaks my heart, because I can’t play with my brothers anymore — it had to be done.”

The 51-year old was sentenced to four years of supervised probation from a June 14 drug-fueled incident during which he he physically abused and harassed his now-ex-fiancee, Deidra. Castronovo pled guilty to two counts of fourth-degree assault, two counts of menacing, one count of coercion and one count of unlawful use of a weapon.

What I have done to the band and my fiancee, there is no excuse for it. It is really inexcusable,” he said. “The only way that my reputation will be brought back is to live this — walk it and work on my recovery like it’s a full-time job.”

Now, Castronovo is focusing his efforts on his own recovery, and is looking for a non-profit in the Oregon area where he can share his story and help young people battling addiction.

“What I did was horrible, and I don’t want to see teenagers or young kids — people in their 20s and 30s — end up 51 years old like me in their fifth rehab treatment losing everything that they have worked so hard for,” he says. “If you can stop it now, stop it. You don’t want to end up like this.”

”ll talk to anyone free of charge. It’s time to give back and be of service,” he continued. “They say in AA that the only way to keep what you have is to give it away. It’s time. If I can help one kid, it’s a beautiful thing.”

Copyright © 2015, ABC Radio. All rights reserved.